just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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