i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
you never un-have a 4some
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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