Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
