He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You pole danced in your parka.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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