oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
