Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
