we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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