My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
hell yes lets make some ravioli
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
