She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
