Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
