Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
