Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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