She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
