I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'm having to shit out rocks
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