Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize