it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
