there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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