I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
