Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
