Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
