I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
