Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
