no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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