why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
