he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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