i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
there is glitter all over my balls
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
