how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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