I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
