You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
