Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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