...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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