the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
