I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
