So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
