I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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