I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
