There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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