Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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