I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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