I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
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I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
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He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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