Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
