Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I smell stomach acid.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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