They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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