I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
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