pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize