dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
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Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
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I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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