In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
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Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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