she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
