There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
