life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
