Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
