I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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