Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
