Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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