So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
