he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
