i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
