you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
