I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
